[claire]Corey's Departure

[Mark Holmes]

Om everyone,


Corey was able to adjust her schedule and fly out on thursday to join
family members in a gathering on the east coast.  While it was sad to
see her go, these changes of cast and character are also quite
appropriate, as they help sharpen the lines between the sweet and the
sad=97each supporting and completing the other inseparably.  We were
trying to figure out what to do for her last day since she'd really
seen nothing but the ashram, the medical college, and the crematorium;
but she decided in the end to sit and write about her experience here.=20=

Her trip was short, but her presence was also just what was needed at
the right time.  This entire trip has been this way=97unexpected things
fell into place in a way that couldn't have been planned more
appropriately, and I suspect this will continue through the pilgrimage
into the following 6 weeks.


I am just now getting time to write my own story of the past week, but
I will leave you with Corey's lovely thoughts in their entirety.


Much love,


Mark




------------------------------------------




Thank you everyone for waiting so patiently for more information about
what has happened here in the last five days.  What follows are some
of the images that come to my mind as I get ready to leave the ashram.=20=

I am sure Mark and Clare and many others (Swamijis, Harilal, this
means you) will have more and different impressions, and that other
thoughts will come to my mind in the days, weeks, and years to follow.=20=

But for now . . .=20


I was only able to spend a couple of days in India with Claire.=20
During those 50 hours, she didn't have much energy, but she was
relatively comfortable and able to speak a little.  She made jokes,
asking for things to be done "expeditiously."   She was showered with
vast love and care and respect.  Mark has done a fabulous job of
explaining day-to-day life on the ashram over the past 5 or 6 weeks,
so I will do nothing more than endorse his descriptions and depictions.


Late on Saturday afternoon, Claire asked for Swami Govindananda.  She
didn't say much when he was in the room, but she found her voice after
he left and it was just the two of us in the room (Clare and Mark were
eating <bold>all </bold>of the popcorn on the veranda):  Tell me about
karma, she said.  As I am the least qualified person at the ashram, if
not the whole of India, to speak about karma, part of me thinks this
was Claire making another joke, but it is impossible to tell.  But I
digress -- when Swami Govinda returned to Claire's room, he talked to
her about karma - how all karma is good karma, how getting through
karma is a positive thing - and how her sole task was to have a
positive mind.  She didn't say much, but she did say something about
relinquishing.  (Despite our best efforts at being good listeners, it
was often times hard for us to hear exactly what Claire was saying.)=20
Although her eyes were closed and she did not say much in response, it
was obvious to everyone in the room that she was paying particular
attention to his every word. =20


Before leaving for Madurai that evening, Swami Govinda instructed that
someone should be awake throughout the night.  We divided the night
into  shifts, with Durga, a wonderful woman who Claire really
appreciated and enjoyed, staying awake from about 10 to 1.  Durga read
to Claire from the Srimad Bhagavatam, a classical Hindu epic on the
philosophy of life, in an effort to ensure Claire had positive
thoughts at the end of this life.  Mark woke up a short time later and
sat with Claire.


I, of course, was not awake for Durga's reading or the changing of the
guards, but Clare and I quickly jumped out of bed when Mark ran into
the room and woke the two of us.  There was no sense of panic, but a
distinct alertness.  We sat around Claire as she peacefully took her
last two breaths.  They were shallow and slow and calm.  Swami
Sivaswaroopananda come into the room a short time later, and the four
of us began chanting Om Tryambakam (three eyes), a chant, as I
understand it, for safe voyage (or, as just explained by Durga, a
chant to go beyond the physical body).  We then began chanting Om Namo
Narayanaya, which would last for twelve hours.  People from the ashram
made there way to Claire's room, and Mark, Clare, and I retreated to
the roof to watch the moon set, to eat popcorn, to cry and laugh and
talk about and to our dear friend.  We then made our way to another
rooftop to watch the sun rise, to eat cookies, to cry and laugh and
talk about and to our dear friend.


As the chanting continued, people moved in and out of Claire's room.=20
It was quite a tribute to her life, as the women on the staff and
their children and the swamis and friends and friends' parents came to
chant. =20


Then began a beautiful ceremony.  One of the striking things about all
of the rituals and practical concerns is that no one seems to take
control, but there is a natural flow to all that is happening.  Raju,
a trained pujari and swami, who also happens to have the biggest smile
in Kerala, led a beautiful ceremony.  The room was filled with people,
including Claire's friend Harilal who had come to visit with her, and
the energy was incredible.  The chanting was inspired, and the rituals
were beautiful.  At one point, those people close to Claire were
invited to put a drop of water and a bit of rice in Claire's mouth.=20
Everything was done with devotion and attention, some sadness, and a
lot of celebration of Claire's life. =20


After a strange bit with the local police who had to come to the
"scene" to document everything including the color of the paint on the
walls and the length of Claire's hair, we travelled with Claire's body
to Trivandrum.  Swami Govinda, having made an overnight trip to
Madurai, returned to Trivandrum.  It was quite beautiful when he
arrived at the hospital and placed beautiful lotus flowers on Claire's
body and had a quiet moment with her. =20


It felt strange to leave her body in Trivandrum, but the mountain of
paperwork was too high to get through in a single day.  Mark, Swami
Govinda, and many others spent a good part of the following day
attempting to assure the Indian authorities that Claire wished to be
cremated in India and that no foul play was involved.


On Tuesday, Mark, Clare, a sea of swamis, many people from the ashram
- including yoga vacationers, and I went to Trivandrum for the
cremation of Claire's body.   At that point, there was a definite
sense of detachment from the body that used to house our dear Claire.=20
That said, the ceremony itself was quite beautiful and again performed
with tremendous love and devotion. =20


During the cremation, one of the yoga vacationers was sitting by
herself and crying.  Assuming she was feeling sad over the death of a
young and amazing woman, I said something about how I was finding
comfort in the four smiling swamis sitting under the tree.  ("I am not
this body" made a lot of sense as I watched them laughing as Claire's
body was cremated.)  The old, when-you-assume adage proved true.  The
vacationer said, "No, that's not why I'm crying.  This is just so
beautiful and peaceful.  I'm crying for all of the people who have
nothing close to this when they die." =20


While I still wish we could have spent more time this lifetime with
Claire, I also think we should all be so blessed to have such love and
peace and beauty and grace in our lives and in our deaths.


Love,

Corey